I don't know how this is going to develop because I don't know what the rules are, other than 'she writes the book of rules' and I only find out what a rule is when I break it.
Last night, for instance, in the pub, and she said 'I'm getting the bus home now, but you don't have to walk me to the stop.'
Hmmm? Does that mean I can stay here in the warm and cosy pub drinking beer and watching the cricket with the three young Aussie guys, or am I being 'tested' for 'COMMITMENT?'
"So, you would rather drink beer and watch cricket than walk me to the bus stop?'
I'm not really upset, because it's nice to be wanted, loved even, for the first time since my Mum and Dad died, 1997 in the case of Mum, and 2005 when Dad died. So that is ten years as an orphan. Is it possible to be an 'orphan' at 61?
Mind you, 'She' described me as '61 going on 18' (and it wasn't a compliment) but I guess at 18 you can feel the sense of loss more? No! NO! It hurts however old you are.
I know it sounds 'naff', but yesterday I went to see my 'therapist' for the first time in two months - he actually told me that I would be OK, but I said, 'No, I'll come back in two months.' Anyway, despite my assuring him I am back to 'normal', he wants to see me in two weeks!
If you have ever thought of seeing a therapist, don't put it off, as they can be a great help. See your GP first and ask for a referral. Don't be put off by the sound of a "Mental Health Plan" because it means that Medicare will subsidise up to ten appointments in a twelve-month period.
Isn't it sad the way that anything to do with 'mental' means 'weak' to many people, and they fail to seek help?
Now, it's time for my 'medication' and then coffee in the cafe, and then I'm going to meet her, and I'm looking forward to it. In fact, I count the seconds, which drag out even more as I'm going through one of my regular periods of insomnia.
Ends
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